Pedicures at Home | Pretty Feet for ALL!

If you work on a yacht you will understand the term “Yachtie Feet”. If you do not work on a yacht I will elaborate slightly for you benefit, perhaps you will be able to relate and then we can all work to solve the problem.

There is a blanket ‘no shoes on boats’ rule, some captains do relax it and some owners prefer the crew to wear deck shoes, but for the most part we go barefoot. Now in my experience the wealthier you are the colder you like to be, consequently, the poor stews run around all day in the freezing, dehydrating AC. If that isn’t the case then we are running Margaritas up and down the unforgiving teak decks. As a result our feet get very dry and sore quickly. We can’t have horrible looking feet particularly if they are on display all the time, it is a big problem.

Most stews jump at the chance to rush off the boat as soon as the guests have boarded their flight home to get pedicures and rectify this. I cannot think of anything worse. I have really tried hard to like them but the thought of putting my feet into a bath where other people have had their feet is none to appealing. I also cannot abide other people clipping my toenails and cuticles. I am fussy that way. Also I feel I can do a better job. I will tell you how.

Now, due to a lack of time and space I usually do several beauty processes at the same time. Face masks and foot soaking will generally happen at the same time. It is magical. I lock myself in the bathroom with my iPod and book and when I come out I am just a ball of glorious.

Epsom Salts, Apple Cider Vinegar and Tea Tree Oil. Can't beat them.

Anyway, ignore the face stuff for now. Here is what you will need:

-       Tub / basin / bucket big enough for you to immerse both your feet in water

-       Apple cider vinegar

-       Epsom salts

-       Tea tree oil

-       Sugar scrub (make your own or use a store bought one)

-       Pumice stone / Foot file

-       Cuticle pushing back thing

-       Nail brush

-       Nail clippers

-       Towel and paper towel

-       Some sort of lotion

Nivea Creme is my current favourite moisturizer. You can apply it to any dry areas , like elbows and knees

Fill the tub with hot water, not too hot but it will cool rapidly so try start out with it being as hot as you can handle. Add a cup of apple cider vinegar (you can use white distilled vinegar too), half a cup of Epsom salts and a couple of drops of tea tree oil. The vinegar will work at breaking down rough skin, the Epsom salts are great for soothing aches and pains and also assist in drawing nasty toxins out of your system and the tea tree is a natural anti bacterial oil that smells really refreshing too.

Soak your feet for 15 minutes and then use a pumice stone or foot file to gently removed any dry skin you may have, you shouldn’t need to scrub too hard because the vinegar will have loosened the skin. Finish off by scrubbing your feet with a sugar scrub. I will usually go all the way up my calves to help out my circulation a bit. Then push your cuticles back, I am not a fan of cutting my cuticles at all, they are there for a reason, don’t hack them off.

Dry your feet thoroughly, use the paper towel to get in between your toes. Once your feet are nice and dry apply a nice thick cream or lotion, in the past I have used body butter but at the moment I am loving Nivea Crème, my mom (and her mom) swear by Ingrams Camphor Cream, treat yourself to an extra long foot rub, you deserve it. If you need to clip your nails then do so, once you have done that put a pair of thick socks on and relax. Your feet will be softer than ever.

I will usually apply polish (a nude shade mind you, unless your guests are off for a while) the next day to give my feet an extra dose of moisture, if you need to apply sooner though wipe the nails with a little rubbing alcohol to get rid of the oils and moisturizer so you have a lovely fresh, dry surface to apply the polish to.

Enjoy it

xxx

Caldrea Body Lotion

Caldrea makes a range of cleaning products that eco conscious stewardesses use on boats. They come in plain bottles with ye olde style labels so they must be organic / good for the environment / not harsh on your hands / whatever. They work but not better than any other product I have ever tried, they leave the most horrific scent lingering in the air and they are more expensive. I smell a rat.

Actually I smell a cheap hooker and it is unfortunately me.

I received a sample of the Caldrea body lotion in my Birchbox, Aloe Water and Apricot. I don’t smell like either of these by the way because the scent is actually “Assured and easy, a modern white musk with florals and freshness” I don’t smell like that either. I wonder what freshness smells like. 

I received another two samples and they have been banished to the box of shame.

It seems as though the copywriters googled “Top 10 healthy things that rich people are using now” because I am told that this body lotion has; aloe water, apricot, shea, chia seed oil and ‘omega powers’. I don’t know what omega powers are. Maybe they got them from the same store as the freshness scent. Oh it is also Vegan. Classic.

"Conjures every pleasure" No it most certainly does not. "Smooth, soft yet clean" Why 'yet'? 

For the record I don’t feel any more moisturized than normal and the back of my throat is burning.  I am told that this lotion contains no phthalates (don’t know – will google), parabens (cancer causing goodies), formaldehyde (that chemical they put brains and things in to preserve them) and no artificial colours. The lotion is white, it must be bleached.

I don’t like it when package information details what isn’t in the product. If I buy a bottle of wine I don’t expect it to say ‘Contains no potatoes’. I feel like companies are desperate when they do that, like they are following me in the street trying to push things on me. “But try this! It has no arsenic in it.”

My skin is burning now.